So, here’s what.
Would you believe that I haven’t ran more than one, five mile run, since the Chicago marathon?
So I figured, okay, free pass for say, a week or two after the race. Afterall, I had been running, non stop, roughly five days a week since well, March or so. Back then I was training for my half marathon in May, then I jumped right into marathon training. I’ve been constantly on the run, literally in life in general- between working full time, nursing school full time, marathon training full time. It’s been… a lot. So I figured, I deserve a little break, a little reprieve.
It’s been nice. To sleep a spec later in the mornings, to not have to plan my weekends around long runs, to be able to throw back an extra glass of wine and not have to worry about feeling not awesome the next morning on my run, to have less laundry to do, to grow my toenails back (I know, for a girl who likes a nice pedicure treat on the regular, these past six or so months have sucked), etc. It’s all been nice. Awesome, even.
Want to know what’s not been so nice though? The guilt. The five pounds that I’ve put on. The let down.
I know so much of this is normal. When something is so much a part of your life, of your existence for months on end, to train for and reach a goal and then… have it behind you, I think it’s kind of a loss. And not that I couldn’t have kept up with the running, but as we all know, if you don’t have a race on the books to gear up for (or maybe this is just me), then I feel a bit less motivation and drive to keep at it all.
I feel guilty for slacking more than the two weeks that I had set in my head as “break time.” I knew I wanted that time for some recovery, mostly physically, but also mentally, emotionally, the whole shabang. A little break was good. But now? The little break is almost a month break; I haven’t run more than five miles ONE time, and I feel guilty and stupid about the fact that I can’t get it up for running like I once did. I miss it, but at the same time, the snooze button seems so damn appealing at 5:04 am. (I can’t set my alarm for normal times.)
And the weight. I know that’s a superficial reason to be whining about this, and perhaps the weight isn’t noticeable to you or my best friend or Matt or anyone, but I know what’s happening inside these skinny jeans here, and it’s not pretty.
So I know that the solution is probably just to shut up, stop whining, and lace up my sneaks and get the hell out there. I know once I get back into it I’ll feel better. But my drive is low, I’m not feeling it like I was a few weeks ago, I miss having big race on the books, I can’t find a freaking big race to PUT on the books, and it’s getting cold outside. And I’m a wimp. I don’t do cold too well.
And damnit, I want to whine about it.
**UPDATE** I forgot to mention that I am signed up for a Thanksgiving 5K, so there’s that. It’s something. Yet, I’ve been signed up for a couple weeks and still… here I am.
That’s got to be a hard thing about fall races…the cold. At least with spring races, you have the fall to gear up for. But in the fall, you have what? winter races? ewww. But, speaking of winter races, does Boston do a Turkey Trot or Jingle Run in December? I know those are usually shorter, but at least it’s on the books
I feel you…I’ve been injured since the race and have tried to run a few times but it hurts too much. I’m working out in other ways but it’s half-hearted and I feel lazy!
I think you need to sign up for a new race STAT!
Or move to DC, and I’ll get you running…
That’s why I run with a group though, so many times, even while training, I just don’t want to go out there. But then I know people are expecting me, so I suck it up and go.
Maybe you could just do something fun, like a Turkey Trot? That way, you’re still running but allowing for plenty of time do fit in the sleeping in and the wine.
I think whining about it is totally allowed, otherwise I’d have been outcast from running long ago.
I’m finally doing a little catch-up on the blog reading … but am condensing my comments into one. =) I cannot believe it’s been 2 years for you and Matt. That’s such a great milestone and I can only hope the two of you continue to be as happy as you have been when I’ve seen you together! Doesn’t a special occasion like that make those 5 pounds pale in comparison to the magnitude of an anniversary or getting to spend a weekend with a bestie? It certainly should, friend … it’s all about perspective!